Thursday, September 11, 2014

a shor story: Die! vermine.





As she watched him carefully sprinkled the white powder around the foundation of the house she felt a chill run through her like a November wind in Chicago. She saw the scull and cross bones on the label, she saw the rubber gloves he wore to avoid getting the toxic substance on his skin, she saw the particle mask he wore over his nose and mouth to prevent inhaling it and she saw the method of his death, all in a fraction of a second before she asked sweetly; “What are you doing honey?”.
“You remember I told you I saw some mice, so I got some rat poison to spread around. I’m gonna mix some in some peanut butter and spread that around too.” He was so proud of his efficient little plan to protect their sweet little home of the nasty vermin coming in from the woods to the east of house.
“You’d better be careful with that stuff!” was her saccharin response. She had decided to kill him weeks ago. The decision being made with a genuine since of sadness that such a nice guy had to die.  But the decision had been made and now the method of Harold’s demise had presented itself quite serendipitously. Cyanide. Quick, clean and deadly.
Helen would hold on to this next progression in her preparation. She would hold it secretly, not making any note in a journal or sharing her emergent scheme with anyone. She would not foolishly checking out a book on poisons from the local library or make a dead husband joke. Helen would not event touch the box of poison so that her prints or DNA would not event be found on it. Helen was much too smart for that, actually Helen was brilliant. This would be perfect as each of her previous plans had been. Not rushed, because there was not reason to hurry, no plane to catch or deadline to meet. Not in anger because Helen did not hate her husband and anger would only make her sloppy and impulsive. No. his death would be elegant and poetic, even tragic. Perfect. How all this would take place was still yet to be determined and that was OK. Helen was the epitome of patience. She smiled at the thought of just how brilliant she was.
Her bare feet made no sound on the grass as she moved to re-enter the house. Harold watcher her go. He loved to watch her go. “I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go!” He called after her with a wolf whistle and a grin. It was something his Dad always said to his mother when he was a kid. He didn’t know what it meant then but he definitely did now. The moment he met Helen his father’s words sprang in to his head. She had a nice ass. Hell, she had a nice everything. She was not drop dead gorgeous nor was her beauty or stature intimidating; she was fine and had a pretty face as the many stares and smiles from passers by would attest. Her eyes were intelligent and always seemed to be smiling, inviting everyone she met share a moment within her world. Her skin was like a caramel apple inviting ones to taste and see if she was as sweet as she looked. Harold loved her but as Helen disappeared through the door of the house they shared as husband and wife; the smile fell from his lips like the leaves falling from the sycamore tree he stood under. Sadness washed over him at the thought of the shock and disappointment he would cause his lovely wife if she knew the truth.
His admirations halted her steps for a moment. As she turned to flirt with her husband Lloyds face came into focus across the street. He had witnessed their exchanged and was grinning at her ass as well.
“Harold’s putting poison down for the mice so you’d better keep “Pepper on a leash for a few days, Lloyd.” Lloyd Harper’s mutt was a neighborhood nuisance, no one would miss it if it did poison itself sniffing around the fence but it was opportune to share with someone that Harold was handling poison. Convenient the way these flashes of brilliance kept popping into Helens head.
    

Harold waved at Lloyd, turned back to his work and walked toward the fence at the edge of the yard beyond which was the 10 or 12 acre stand of trees they called the woods. “This is where I need to bait those wood mice.” He thought to himself as he walked along and sprinkled more poison. He pulled the vibrating cell phone out of his pocket. There were specks of white on his gloved hand but he didn’t notice. He had hardly been able to breath in expectation of this call and hearing the voice on the other end.
“Hey man” was his typical, casual greeting when he saw Ryan’s number flash up on his I-Phone. Harold worked hard to keep the excitement out of his voice.
“How are you, man?” Ryan asked, he was genuinely concerned about his friend. Harold had not been himself for weeks. Sometimes he was distracted and agitated and other times he was almost euphoric and giddy. It had been at least 3 months since they had had a real argument over the Lakers vs the Pistons or even played a round of Golf. They had been best friends since college. Over 16 years. Ryan knew Harold better than Harold’s own wife knew him. Harold’s wife didn’t know about his experimentations designer drugs or with gay lovers in the old days.  But Ryan knew, since he had been his first. His wife didn’t know the truth about how his father died. But Ryan did since he had been the one that had held him while he cried after reading the suicide note. His wife didn’t know about his creepin either, but Ryan knew it all and more. Harold told Ryan everything as if he were his therapist or priest and to tell Ryan Ebu, Accountant, Little League Coach, Best friend, somehow meant absolution. But now something was happening in Harold’s life that he had not shared with him. Not that Ryan felt he had a right to know or anything like that. It was, however, odd.
“Look” Ryan continued. “Why don’t we get together for a beer or something? It’s been almost six months since we did any hangin out and you’ve been brushing me off when I called. Whaz up? Did I kill your dog or something?” Ryan tried to keep thing light but he truly did want to know what was up with his friend.
“Hey, man, you know that we’re cool. I’ve just had some things on my mind that I just kinda needed to think through. But yeah, what are you doing around seven or eight?”
“I’m open. How about I meet you at Sonny’s” Ryan chose Sonny’s because he knew it was one of Harold’s favorites places. They had his favorite beer on tap and always had some sort of game on the flat screens around the bar. It was a guy place where guys hung out and talked loud about games and women and work and blood and conquest and cars and money and bull shit. Ryan though he chose well. Harold however made another suggestion.
“I feel more like going to Black Mojo’s, and getting a table outside. I’ve got some stuff to finish around here so I’ll see you at about eight.” And then came the puzzle…”I love you man.” And the call ended.
“Black Mojo’s” “I love you?” Ryan mused over the statements. Harold only said stuff like that when he was drunk or if something traumatic has occurred. Ryan knew there was much love between the two of them. They had been so close for so long and been through so much together. And although Black Mojo’s was his favorite Cajun restaurant Ryan could not remember Harold ever wanting to go there. Now rather than feeling better after speaking to his AWL friend he was more alarmed than ever.
Harold passed his gloved had across his face to wipe a bead of sweat from his face leaving a faint trace of white powder. He didn’t notice. He touched the phone to his lips, pensively, as he contemplated his plans for tonight.  Then turning his attention back to the duty at had, killing vermin, Harold shifted his jaw and adjusted his posture transforming Bill Murray’s character from Caddyshack. The scenes from the movie rolled through his memory at the though of the word ‘vermin’. “Die vermin”, He laughed. He felt good.
    

Helen had been watching Harold from the window. “You’re not being very careful with that stuff Harold.” She chastised in a whispered song. The left side of her mouth curling upward. Her predatory gaze taking in his every movement.  The phone call made her curious. She made a mental note to look into that later as she made her way to the shower. Saturdays were already so busy and now that she was planning Harold’s demise she was going to be even more pressed for time. “I’d better schedule more time around the house; that will help,” she thought to herself. “I’ll invite the book club to meet here for the next few weeks and I’ll skip the HOA meeting on the first.” Sacrifices had to be made if she was going to do this right.
    

“Helen”



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